When Denise goes away for the weekend, she gives Craig a promise ring which he ends up losing after a wild, drunken night at a strip club with Alex and Sammy, who hatch a plan to keep Denise from killing Craig while they search for the ring.

When the team's lackluster play leads to a team curfew leading up to the Mountain Goats' biggest game of the season, Thad's prized pocket p***y gets passed around from teammate to teammate leading to an outbreak of syphilis.

Leading up to a rivalry game against Overland University, the Mountain Goats' starting quarterback is suspended, Alex is named the starter and Sammy is accidentally kidnapped along with Billy the Goat as part of a prank by Overland.

Alex's lack of commitment to the team gets him demoted to special teams. Meanwhile, Craig suspects Denise is having an affair and Sammy leads a mob of angry cheerleaders looking for revenge on all the college guys who have wronged them.

After a streak of bad luck, the team holds a "Lock-In Party" at the Goat House to build team camaraderie at which Alex and Thad divide the rest of the players into two groups and compete in a drug-fueled Team Building Olympics.

A player-recruitment weekend brings out a running back who poses a threat to Craig's position while Alex tries to enlist the top high-school quarterback for Blue Mountain State.

When Alex has sex with a lacrosse player's girlfriend, he unwittingly breaks a 23-year football/lacrosse team truce, causing a take-no-prisoners war which he must figure out how to end.

Principal Simmons and Coach Daniels issue an ultimatum to the players: pass the upcoming midterms or forfeit the rest of the season.

During Marathon Monday, a BMS drinking tradition where the whole campus parties from 6 a.m. Monday to 6 a.m. Tuesday, Alex meets and hooks up with the girl of his dreams who turns out to be just like him and Sammy and Craig go on a drinking binge together.