Fozzie Bear becomes embroiled in a running gag involving the backstage phone. Throughout the episode, Rita parodies her combative image. She battles with several Muppets, including Miss Piggy, a Full-Bodied Muppet, and Animal, who's backing her on drums in her closing number, "Fever."

Fozzie performs Gags Beasley's famous "banana sketch," which everyone has heard of except Kermit. When Kermit asks Sandy and Fozzie to tell him what it is, they laugh too hard to explain it.

A young kid named Scooter applies for a job as a go-fer. When Kermit remarks that he doesn't even look like a gopher, Scooter explains that he'll go-fer coffee, he'll go-fer sandwiches, he'll go-fer anything. Kermit says he doesn't have the money to hire him, until Scooter mentions that his uncle owns the theater.

Scooter's uncle sends a mechanical, wind-up TV show host, an exact duplicate of Kermit. The robot harasses Kermit and flirts with Miss Piggy.

Scooter talks Fozzie into doing "the telephone pole bit," and Fozzie practices dutifully until he finds out what the bit is: Fozzie dresses up as a public telephone, and Scooter asks what his name is. "Mike Oznowiczki," Fozzie says, and Scooter exclaims, "Oh, so you're the telephone Pole!"

The Muppet Theatre is plagued by a variety of pig-related problems, both onstage and off. First, The Bouncing Borsalino Brothers flub their act and crash through the stage floor. Backstage, Miss Piggy throws herself at an uninterested Kermit and then jealously interrupts his onstage Talk Spot, physically threatening guest star Florence Henderson, whom she thinks is horning in on her frog. The feud continues in the Panel Discussion as Florence throws pig slurs around.

Kermit becomes jealous when Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Hilda and Scooter rave about Peter Ustinov. At the end, Peter admits that he's jealous of Kermit; he's always wanted to be a frog.

Kermit cuts Miss Piggy's scheduled song so she won't look foolish following Lena Horne. He tells her that "there are singers and there are singers," making her think that he doesn't want her to show up Lena.

Embarrassed about being the "token person" on the show, Harvey is dressed up as a giant chicken.